“Fox-Turner News?”

“Yes.”

“Well, there you go.”

Squeeeee-EAK. Rumble. Gurgle. EEEEK.

“Oh, that one really hurt.”

“Maybe you should go use the head.”

“No, I’m okay…. Oh. Oh. Ow. Oh, no. I think they’re coming.”

Phew. Whew. Poof.

“Geez! I told you it was gas!”

“Oh, what a relief.”

“And you couldn’t do that in the head! No, you had to stink up the whole cabin!”

“Sorry. I really thought it was Vossian Intestinal Maggots. But I feel much better now.”

“I’m sure you do. Next time, just order the bacon and eggs.”

“What?! Have you never heard of salmonella or trichinosis?”

.