First came the police, then the boss bureaucrats. The bald bucko had been reaching for a gun, so I got off on self-defense. People were outraged. Protesters lined the parks calling for my hanging. The police had to break the line to bring me food and arrest the advertisers mixing with the protesters. The government extended my watchtower to include a full working bathroom, tub and all. They gave me a raise, and they gave me a rifle.

Those lobbyists got into action fast. The bill was passed in three weeks, almost as fast as the Patriot Act. The ‘Freedom Zone’ protected that shrine into infinity. It also gave me a license to kill. The apologists said it wouldn’t affect them because they would never advertise illegally. The freedom of speech people got up in a ruckus calling it a metaphorical book burning. I got lots of extra training amid cries of “Unconstitutional!” The protesters couldn’t keep out the construction crews. A semi-circle base tower gave me a view of the whole thing. I patrolled that instead of coming out. A few months later, the crowds died down and things got quiet again.

Just before the beginning of spring, that little man with the mouse cards came back. He set up his table, laying out his cards like some new age fortuneteller. His head made a nice popping sound as it splattered against the wall.

There were five lawyers last June. I let them get all the way into the spiral before picking them off. I guess the school kids were warned because they just trod over them just as they would any doormat later that day.

This blonde chickie wearing a hot bikini top came in with an armful of Popeye coupons. I made her breasts explode.

Five boy scouts and two girl scouts. No cookies. Not even a tin of popcorn.

A Chinese aroma-therapist. No head.

One Pepsi salesman. He just dropped a can. I got a dock in pay for that.

Four teachers putting up PTA signs.

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